Today…

Today I realized how sad I am. I was sitting with my mom and we were talking about my depression and how I am doing. Then it hit me. After August 6, I will probably never see her again. For the 5 years if knowing her is now hitting me hard that I won’t see my best friend’s, no scratch that, sister’s face, maybe, forever.

She is the reason I have stayed strong and now that in 11 days she is leaving. Right now I feel half way empty, and when she leaves I will be a human with no meaning. I won’t have a reason to go to school anymore. I won’t have anyone to talk to about my issues or if something comes up.

After that day I won’t be able to hug her. I won’t be able to see her everyday and soon enough I will forget how she smells, her laugh, her smile, the way her eyes sparkle in the sun light and then her voice.

I’m scared that one day the her texts don’t come, the snapchats end and no more phones from her. I’m so scared that she will leave forever and we will slowly start drifting away.

Please, please, please don’t make this happen…please…